Raoul's Assassin
by Miranda7911
Summary: A phan hires an Assassin to take out Raoul. Entirely Leroux based.


Disclaimer: I do not own the Phantom of the Opera. Honestly, if I DID I wouldn't be posting this here disclaimer now, would I? AND I'd have gone to the publishers, instead of to this site! As the situation stands, I do not own the Phantom of the Opera. Phooey.

Raoul's Assassin

Raoul entered his bedroom, weary from the day's events and continually contemplating how he was going to free Christine from the elusively mysterious Erik's grasp. After lighting the gas lamp, Raoul removed his dress coat and set it over the back of a large armchair. Lost in thought, he did not immediately notice the dark figure perched in the chair in front of the balcony curtain. That is, until it spoke.

"Good evening, Monsieur de Chagny."

Raoul just about jumped out of his skin. "It's Erik!" he thought, wildly, turning in horror to face the cloaked figure.

"Please calm yourself, Monsieur de Chagny. You might alert a member of your household and then I would be forced to kill them too. And I'm sure you don't want that, seeing as how I'm only here to kill you."

Raoul blinked. "Who are you?" he asked, confusedly. The figure was clothed entirely in black and wore a hooded cloak that wreathed the wearer's entire face in shadow. Yet the voice he heard wasn't the one he had heard behind Christine's dressing room door. This one was feminine. Icy and malignant, but definitely feminine. And did she just say she was here to kill him?

"My name is unimportant. But you may be interested to know that I was hired to come here and kill you. Any last words?" The Assassin asked, calmly, shifting her cloak and raising a long, black rifle.

Raoul spluttered "But why kill me! What-"

"Because you're a stereotypical, brainless, young man and Erik is a genuinely unique, complex character." The Assassin snapped before he could finish.

"You know about Erik?"

"Yes. I was hired by one who loves him."

Raoul stared at her and thought "Could she be talking about Christine? No, of course not, that's ridiculous. Christine wouldn't hire someone to kill me when she knows very well that I'll die without her. But who else knows enough about Erik to fall in love with him? Or, better yet, who doesn't know _enough_ about Erik to think they've fallen in love with him? But if it's true, if this mystery girl does actually love him, I wonder if she'll be able to take his mind off Christine! I wonder if he'll actually leave her alone! Then she'll be free! This is wonderful! We could-"

The Assassin, expertly reading his hopeful expression, hissed "Not a chance, boy."

Raoul came out of his reverie, looked at the Assassin, and suddenly wondered "Why, if her Employer loves Erik, why is this girl, this Assassin, here to kill ME and not Christine? It doesn't make sense. What's going on here?" Something in the Assassin's tone had set him on edge. Perhaps she actually _was_ here to kill him.

The Assassin, unperturbed by the suddenly shifty way Raoul had begun to look at her, quietly explained herself "I'm afraid it is impossible for Erik to even consider falling in love with my Employer. You see, unlike most men, one of Erik's most admirable traits is that his heart can only be given to one woman, no matter how many other females throw their unwanted selves at him. He adores Christine and would do ANYTHING for her! Do you honestly think such devotion comes easily and can be just randomly switched to someone else just because it's convenient? No. Erik would kill my Employer as soon as she said the words 'I love you.' He'd probably worry that Christine would overhear and get the wrong impression. Now, down to Business. Good bye, Fop."

The Assassin aimed her rifle at Raoul.

"STOP!" A comical figure shrieked, bursting into the room and standing in front of Raoul in a protective and overly dramatic manner.

Raoul glanced at the ridiculous figure in front of him and then dropped his head into his hands and mumbled something about drinking too much champagne. The Assassin, however, eyed the intruder with a look of disgust and complete hatred. The figure standing in front of Raoul was a young, thin girl around twenty years old. She wore a long green cape over a large, baggy red dress that had a large black sash tied around the waist. Her face was plastered with an excessive amount of makeup that made her look absolutely repulsive and, to top it all off, her curly blond hair was tucked up beneath a triangular hat that had the letters "F.P." sown onto the front. Overall, her apparel was completely absurd and entirely inappropriate for the time period. The Assassin glowered at the girl.

"I'm the Fop Protector!" the girl declared in a foolishly authoritive manner. "And I'm here to stop you! Know why? Because you can't just go shooting Raoulie-poo without a good cause and my authorization, which you can't have!"

The Assassin glowered at the girl, shifted her rifle and snarled "You die first, Comic Relief!"

The Fop Protector shrieked like a rat caught in the blender and promptly hid behind Raoul. The Assassin snickered at the look of astonishment on the boy's face as he stared incredulously at the girl hiding behind him. Apparently, the Fop Protector's 'protection' didn't go as far as dying for him. The Assassin lowered her gun, wondering what the little weasel wanted.

Somewhat out of harm's way, the Fop Protector reasoned with the Assassin "Look, Raoul's really not that bad of a guy. After all, he's willing to give up everything for Christine! Has home, his family, his inheritance, his title, and for what! To go live in a rural cottage with his simple minded wife and Mother-in-Law! If that's not love then what is! Erik doesn't love her! He's only obsessed with her! There's a difference, you know."

Raoul stared at the 'Fop Protector,' who he was starting to just think of as F.P. rather than refer to her full title. He asked "How do you know all this? What business of yours is it and how on earth do you also know about Erik! Am I _missing_ something here!"

The Assassin ignored Raoul and, instead, addressed the Fop Protector's accusation regarding Erik. "You don't understand. Erik has been hated and feared his entire life; by everyone he had ever met, including his own parents! His entire life, he has always been alone and rejected merely because of the way he looks! It never mattered how smart he was or how talented, all people ever cared about was his appearance. Then, after living through that abysmally lonely existence and having finally gone into hiding under the Opera House, he came across a kind, beautiful, innocent, young girl with amazing untapped potential and, in his solitude and despair, he ferments the hope that this particular maiden might just be able to do what no other human being in the world has ever done: love him. But why her, though? There are plenty of beautiful idiots in the world and the Opera House is just crawling with them. But Erik loves Christine and Christine alone. That's love."

"Obsession." F.P. coughed.

"Let me tell you a little something about obsessions: they DIE, like withered flowers past their expiration date. They reach maturity and END. But Erik taught Christine to sing for three months! And there's no telling how long he loved her before he started teaching her. And then there was all that time they spent together after they'd met in Erik's Lair. If it was just an obsession, why didn't Erik come to his senses, kill her and then move on to another girl? Why is he so desperate for Christine to love him?"

"Because he's obsessed with her!" F.P. snapped, coming out from behind Raoul and posing dramatically to prove her point.

The Assassin stared calmly at F.P. and then raised her rifle.

F.P. shrieked and hid behind Raoul again.

Raoul glanced at F.P., then looked the Assassin in the eye and said "As much as Erik loves her, I love her too."

"Yeeeeaaah and she doesn't love Erik! Christine loves ol' Raoulie-poo here!" F.P. jeered, patting Raoul's shoulder.

"Could you please not call me that?" Raoul asked, only to be ignored.

"I am aware of the situation and so is my Employer. Perhaps more so than you understand." The Assassin stated, lowering her weapon.

"What's that supposed to mean?" F.P. asked.

"It means that my Employer is- No. I don't want to spoil it for you." The Assassin snickered, fiendishly.

"Oh, come on and tell us." F.P. said.

"Very well, you asked for it: it means that my Employer and I are the Villains in this story. My Employer's overall goal is to blow up the Opera House."

"WHAT!" Raoul goggled.

"Whoa, didn't see that coming." F.P. blathered, in shock.

The Assassin continued "Without Raoul there to foil all of Erik's plans and steal Christine, one would think that Erik would get the happy ending he deserves and would be able to live Happily Ever After with Christine, right? But this is not the case. All Christine has ever felt for Erik is pity, horror and an amount of admiration for his astounding talents. But nothing more. So, when Erik will ask Christine to marry him, she will undoubtedly refuse. And if there just happens to not be anyone in the Torture Chamber to give the friendly advice 'Don't touch the Grasshopper,' well then, Goodbye Opera House!"

Raoul stared at the Assassin. "Torture Chamber? Grasshoppers?" he thought. He had no idea what she was talking about. But F.P. did.

"She's insane! I have to stop her!" F.P. thought, and then asked aloud "But why? Why do this? Because of Raoul, Christine gets a happy ending and Erik dies happy with an angelic change of heart! That's the way the story goes! Why ruin it?"

"Because it's a statement." The Assassin replied, coldly, before adding "Do you know what my job was before I signed up for this one? I was a Mary-Sue Hunter."

F.P. went pale and starred at the Assassin in horror.

"That's right." The Assassin continued. "I stalked and killed those Other Women that thought that they could just waltz in and pick up where Christine left off. Those that thought they could twist the facts to their advantage and make Erik forget aaaaaall about the one girl he willingly gave his heart and soul to. Those are the women that I killed and continue to kill. I am Erik's Guardian."

F.P. spluttered. "His guardian! His executioner is more like it! Those 'Other Women,' as you put it, were sent there so that Erik could be happy! So he wouldn't have to die alone while his beloved sailed away with Raoulie-poo."

"Please don't call me that." Raoul said, losing interest in the conversation and starting to fall asleep. He trudged over and sat down on the bed, wondering if he was just having one of those dreams again. He fell back and closed his eyes.

The Assassin and F.P. both gave Raoul identical looks that seemed to say "You're still here? Then keep quiet wile the grown-ups talk, sonny."

F.P. looked at the Assassin and continued "Mary-Sues are the only alternative because Christine just doesn't love Erik!"

"But Erik is incapable of loving anyone else!"

"Says you!"

"Says the FACT that he's _old_ and hasn't gotten married before! If he had loved anyone else before he had met Christine, not only would the Daroga have mentioned it in his narrative but Erik would also have been married by the time he met Christine because do you even think that there is the slightest chance that he wouldn't have gone to every possible extreme to make said imaginary girl accept him? HMM? He had been all over Europe and had seen countless numbers of women in every shape and form but, in the end, it was little Christine that caught his eye. He never loved anyone but her in his entire life."

"Well, maybe he did but Leroux just didn't write about it." F.P. said, lamely.

"You know what? You can speculate until a meteor falls from the sky and silences you but your speculations will never be more than just guesses left to be explored by other phanphiction Authoresses. But the FACT is that Leroux never ever mentioned Erik caring about _anyone_ but Christine."

Raoul snored.

Both girls looked at Raoul for a second, shrugged, and then faced each other again.

F.P. asked "So why kill Raoul if you know that Erik will die anyway?"

"For two reasons. The first is so that Erik will be able to die with the woman he loves and the second is because no has ever loved Erik. Ever. So why should we care if all those people in the Opera House should die?"

"Because they are innocent bystanders that just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time! Erik isn't their problem!"

"Oh, he will be when the Grasshopper is turned!"

"This is insane! You say your Employer cares about Erik but she's planning to let him die along with everyone else at the Opera House! That's not love!"

"You are an expert on the subject, _Comic Relief?_ Let me put it this way; no matter what, Erik will die and nothing my Employer can do or say will prevent it. However, because she loves him, she desires that he should die with his beloved nearby, rather than alone."

"And then what, huh? Do you honestly think that they'll both go to the same place?"

"What are you talking about?" The Assassin asked, irritably.

"I'm talking about Heaven and Hell, genius! Christine is an innocent, pure, young girl and Erik is a murdering, diabolical, freak of nature!"

The Assassin cocked her rifle.

F.P. darted behind a nearby wingchair and continued "The point is that Erik would go to Hell and Christine would go to Heaven. She would have been a complete victim while Erik's final act in life would have been to murder thousands of people. There's no question about where they would both end up if you allowed them to die like that! BUT, at the end of the book, Christine makes the ultimate sacrifice, worse than death, and agrees to marry Erik and live out the rest of her natural life with him! And Erik, being the genius that he is, recognizes the extremity of this decision and is moved enough to make a sacrifice of his own: he lets her go! As a character, he develops and has a change of heart!"

"And you think that one act will guarantee him a place in Heaven?"

"That's not for me to decide now, is it? But I'll certainly put in a good word for him when I get there!" F.P. replied, smugly.

"Ridiculous." The Assassin growled.

"Hey, ridiculous or not, Leroux knew what he was doing when he wrote that ending. No matter how you look at it, everybody in the story got as happy an ending as is realistically possible. Erik's ending would have been happier ONLY if Christine had loved him but she _didn't_. She would have been miserable married to him and her sorrow would have affected Erik in the most negative ways imaginable. But Erik didn't get a sad ending because he chose to let Christine go. He just had a sad _life_."

The Assassin was silent a moment, then murmured "You have a point. How disturbing. I never thought I'd hear sense coming from a Fop Sympathizer. What is the world coming to?"

Raoul snored.

F.P. looked tenderly at Raoul and then at the Assassin. The moonlight shone through the window and glittered in her emerald eyes. The Assassin's back was to the window, leaving her face shrouded in darkness and her expression unreadable. But her silence said enough.

Quietly, F.P. stated gently but matter-of-factly "You need to let the boy live. Destroying him will ruin EVERYTHING. Phans may not like him but it's only because they don't realize how crucial he is."

The Assassin was silent. F.P. waited patiently for the killer's answer as she allowed Raoul's steady rhythmic breathing to calm her frantically beating heart. The Assassin still hadn't uncocked her gun and F.P. was out of arguments.

Then, after what seemed like an eternity, the Assassin whispered "My Employer will not be pleased."

F.P. breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "Don't worry," she cheerily ranted, coming out from behind the chair. "Just tell your Employer to write a phanphic about killing Raoul or something. If worst comes to worst, shoot her. That's what you do, isn't it?"

"So it is." The Assassin growled, aiming her rifle at F.P.'s head.

However, before F.P. could dive back behind the chair, the Assassin lowered her gun, stood up, turned towards the window and whispered "Guess I'll go back to hunting Mary-Sues."

"Um, about that. You know, Mary-Sues aren't all that evil. After all, they're just created so that Erik can be happy. It's not like that's a bad thing, right? And besides-"

"Enough." The Assassin ordered, her voice weary. "It's been a long night and I'm through arguing with you. Besides, your squeaky voice is giving me a headache."

F.P. looked indignant but didn't dare interrupt her.

The Assassin continued "If you want me to leave Mary-Sues alone, then so be it. I shall comply for a short while but not for long!" she snarled, then mumbled "I've been needing a vacation."

"Wonderful idea! Go to Hawaii and relax on the beach! No more lurking in shadows! Get a tan! Get a boyfriend! Get some new clothes! Get a life! Get me a present! Get eaten by a shar-"

"Don't press your luck, Comic Relief!" The Assassin snapped, her tone instantly silencing F.P. "And don't forget: I will be back. You and I have a score to settle. Raoul Sympathizers are a scourge in the world of Phandom and I WILL deal with you later." With a swish of her cloak, the Assassin opened the window and disappeared over the balcony rail.

F.P. followed her outside and looked down but the Assassin had already disappeared into the night. F.P. breathed a deep sigh of relief, went back inside, closed the window, drew the curtain in front of it and then sank into a chair and went limp from exhaustion. "Well, that was a close call." She muttered to herself.

Raoul snored.

F.P. looked amazedly at Raoul, suddenly remembering that he was still there. Smiling, she stood up and walked to the center of the room. With the Assassin gone and her victory earned, she felt as carefree as a school-girl on vacation and nearly laughed aloud as she threw out her arms and spun around in a circle.

After watching Raoul for a moment, to make sure he was still sound asleep, the girl suddenly threw off her disguise to reveal the elegant blue gown, perfectly appropriate for the time period, that she had been wearing beneath her elaborate costume. She then chucked her 'Fop Protector' hat across the room, letting her golden, billowy curls cascade around her perfect porcelain face. She then picked up her discarded green cape and wiped the excessive amounts of makeup off her visage, leaving only a trace of blush and her beautiful eyeliner. She then hid her disguise behind a chair, where a servant would be sure to find it but Raoul would never notice. She then smiled at Raoul's sleeping form as she quietly opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

As she was closing the door behind her, a passing servant spotted her and said "Oh, Mademoiselle Raulina, we didn't know if you were home or not. Monsieur Phillip has been wondering where you and your twin brother had gone off to. Has Monsieur Raoul gone to bed?"

"Yes, Jean-Claude, he has. And he's had a rather trying evening, so see to it that he's not disturbed." The young girl, Raulina de Chagny, ordered.

"Yes, ma'am." Jean-Claude said, bowing and stepping aside to let her pass.

Raulina walked proudly down the hall, silently congratulating herself on having out-witted the fabled Mary-Sue Hunter. To think; she'd called her darling Eriky-poo a 'murdering, diabolical, freak of nature' just to keep the Assassin from suspecting her! HA! Such wit!

To alter the original story, Raulina was Raoul's twin sister that had been sent to boarding school by her elder brother, Phillip, who had had absolutely no idea how to raise a little girl, after their parent's death. Which explained why Raoul had grown up in the de Chagny manor but Raulina had not. Whilst Raoul had been off exploring the world and rescuing little Christine Daae's scarf from the sea, Raulina had grown up a well educated young lady that simply spent most of her vacation time with her elder sisters. Now, she had come home merely to spend some time with her beloved twin brother before his dreaded expedition to the North Pole, only to find him madly in love with Christine Daae and to find herself strangely intrigued by this "Erik" person her brother kept raving about. Thus, the reason Leroux hadn't mentioned her is because he hadn't known about her. Or so the story was altered.

Raulina stopped by a window that sported a magnificent view of the de Chagny estate. Still smiling at her own ingenuity and overall lucky break, she silently thought "By the time that Assassin returns, Raoul and Christine will already be on their honeymoon somewhere in Switzerland and Erik and I will be living peacefully in our new home in Pittsburg, Alabama. And we'll all live happily, Happily Ever After or my name isn't Mary-Sue."

The End

(Authoress Note: The moral of the story? Mary-Sues are everywhere! Like cockroaches! Kill them! Kill them! Show no mercy and trust no one! And for the record, Pittsburg is NOT in Alabama, which just goes to show how 'smart' Mary-Sues really are. Read and REVIEW, people, and _maybe_ I'll think about writing a sequel.)


End file.
